Chapter 19
He watched the snowflakes dance in the glow of the street light, the cold wind tossing the white crystals around like icy feathers before they found their way to the ground. The winter diamonds sparkled brilliantly against the background of the smoky, black sky, and Nick marveled at their beauty. It was a simple pleasure--watching the snowfall.
He sighed. Simple seemed to be the only thing he could handle these days. He ran from the hard things, the painful things. Witnessing Beth and Jacob's grief had been too hard, too painful. Was he really such a coward?
The vampire closed his eyes to the picturesque winter scene before him as his hands tightened on the steering wheel of the Caddy. He could see himself as one of those frosty flakes of ice, tossed about in this gust of tragedy, unsure which direction he would go, where he would land.
No. He shook his head, a numb resolve guiding his thoughts. He knew where he was going to land, where he had to land. He would settle with his family, his immortal family. There was no other choice if he was to spare the humans around him, no other choice at all.
Opening his eyes, he looked over at the precinct building. He didn't know why he'd come here. He certainly didn't want to face the sad, pitying looks he was going to get from his co-workers. More sympathy for the undeserving. He supposed he'd come because of Beth and Jacob. He wanted one less thing he'd told them to be a lie. It seemed silly, trivial really, but he'd said he was going to work, so here he was. But.... A bitter smile lifted the corners of his mouth. In the scheme of all that he'd done, what difference did it make?
Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for what awaited him inside. He got out of the Caddy and made his way into the building.
The normal hustle and bustle of the squad room dropped to a guarded whisper when Nick pushed through the swinging gate. He faltered a moment as he hit the wall of concern, a tiny spark of discomfort moving over him. There was no spotlight pointed on him, but there may as well have been. He stifled a groan. Scanning the room, he confronted a sea of faces. Faces with compassionate, doleful eyes, and pitiful, understanding smiles. It was a sight he'd tried to prepare himself for, but it still made the 'unworthy' knife slice through his mind. Returning the sad smiles with one of his own, he lowered his eyes and walked over to his desk. Tracy was there, and as he stopped to stand behind his chair, he noticed Captain Reese coming out of his office.
Before walking through his office door, Joe quickly glanced out the window. Snow. It was snowing again. They were getting an unusual amount of the white stuff early this year. Granted, it wasn't sticking around, but if it was cold enough for snow in November, they were in for a long winter. An uncomfortable shudder slid down Joe's back as he turned and surveyed the squad room.
What the hell? the captain wondered silently as he saw Nick Knight standing by his desk. Even though the detective hadn't officially asked for the night off, this was the last place Reese had expected to find him. Joe, like a lot of people in the precinct, knew how special Elliot Simmons had been to Nick. The boy's death had to be tearing him apart.
Reese's jaw clenched as the thought of the dead child brought a fierce sympathy to the surface. Nick was strong, but just how strong, Joe didn't know. Knight had recently lost two close friends. How much more grief could he take? Oh, Nick would make it through. The captain was fairly sure of that. Most people found some way of overcoming tragedy. But what kind of man would be left in the wake of all the loss? It was a question that pecked at the back of Joe's mind. He wasn't sure how heavy a toll Elliot's murder would take on Nick. The senseless death of a child had to be one of the greatest miseries the captain could imagine.
Joe's sympathy for Nick abruptly gave way to a white rage, a picture of the small body appearing in his mind's eye. His hands formed tight fists at his sides as the disgust churned his already upset stomach. Another child murdered.
Damn!
They'd caught one killer, and now were faced with another. He wanted to find the bastard, but he had a sick feeling about this case. They had absolutely nothing to go on. No clues at all. All they had was the report of an agonizing scream coming from the building where they'd found the child's body. The couple that had heard it said it couldn't have come from the boy. The sound had been too deep, too heart-wrenching, to come from a young child. A cynical smirk pulled at Joe's lips. Evidently, the sound had been so guttural the couple had doubted for a few moments that it had even been human. Of course, neither one of them had seen anything. Unfortunately, no one they'd talked to so far had seen anything. Forensics had found several prints in the room, but none were identifiable. The boy's throat had been cut, but there wasn't any blood at the scene. Natalie said the body had been moved. So, Elliot had been brought to the abandoned building after the murder. They had no idea where the killing had taken place. Everywhere Joe looked, he saw a dead end. It made his blood boil.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm the sudden anger. Nick didn't need to see his frustration. Joe was sure the detective was feeling plenty of his own. Captain Reese walked over to Knight and Vetter just in time to hear Tracy express her empathy. "I--" The young detective's eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she swallowed hard and continued. "I'm so sorry, Nick."
Reese watched Knight's body tense with the words, almost as if he were rejecting the comfort Tracy tried to offer him. His mouth formed a harsh line as he nodded. "Thanks, Trace."
A cold hand closed over the captain's heart as he took a closer look at Nick. The handsome detective looked like hell. He stood hunched over with his hands buried deep in the pockets of his long coat, looking for all the world as if he were protecting himself from another blow, as if the powers-that-be were standing somewhere nearby ready to give him one more swift kick in the gut. The defeated posture was unfamiliar to Joe, and his concern for Knight began to burn a little brighter.
Reese's inspection moved to Nick's face. The harsh set of his mouth was reflected in the frown that creased his brow. His normally pale complexion was totally devoid of color, save for the dusky shadows that lurked under sad eyes, eyes that nearly drew a pained groan from Joe. He couldn't remember ever seeing such complete desolation. The intense suffering that clouded the blue depths told the captain more than any words could possibly express.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Joe finally found his voice. "Nick...what are you doing here? I didn't expect you to come in tonight. In fact, I think it would be a good idea if you took a few days off."
Recalling the detective's attitude after Schanke and Cohen's deaths, Joe really didn't think Knight would be able to leave well enough alone, not if Elliot's killer was still out there somewhere. But, as with his two friends, Nick was too close to this case, and it would be best if he stepped back from it, for now.
"Cap, I--" Nick shook his head.
"No, Nick. You don't need to be here. You need some time...to...get a handle on things."
Joe watched the detective close his eyes and take a deep breath. He stood quietly for a few seconds, and, in that time, appeared to come to some sort of a decision. Reese was more than a little surprised when Knight opened his eyes and nodded.
"Okay, Cap. I guess you're right."
The argument Joe had been certain he would be forced to have with Detective Knight didn't materialize. And for a moment, he was dumbfounded by the realization. Nick wasn't going to protest? He wasn't going to object? Disbelief moved through Joe's mind. Knight wasn't going to fight him tooth and nail to stay and be part of the Simmons investigation. The disbelief was joined by a subtle disappointment. Had Nick had that much of the life knocked out of him by this hardship?
The captain's earlier concern increased yet again as he accepted Nick's answer. "Good." There wasn't as much satisfaction in his voice as he would have liked. He hesitated a moment. Looking back into Nick's solemn face, Joe felt the need to offer his support. "If you need anything, Nick, just ask."
"We'll get this guy, Nick." Tracy Vetter's voice was filled with an angry determination as she bit out the words.
As Joe gazed into Detective Vetter's somber face, he also saw that determination smoldering in her eyes. He hoped she was right. He prayed she was right.
"I--" Nick faltered, and his eyes dropped to the ground, his dark frown growing darker. "I know, Trace. Thanks." Lifting his gaze again, he looked from Tracy to Joe. "I guess I'll take off."
Reaching out, the captain gave Nick's arm a reassuring squeeze. "Like I said, anything I can do, just let me know." Reese wished there was something more he could say or do, but he knew there wasn't, aside from catching Elliot's killer.
"Thanks, Captain." Nick nodded as Joe released his arm. "You too, Trace."
With those words, Knight turned and walked out of the squad room. An unwanted heaviness descended over the captain's heart as he watched Nick leave. Something was missing, gone, stolen. Something inside Knight had died with Elliot. The light, the spark, of life. It had been snuffed out, smothered. A worried frown tugged at Reese's mouth. He hoped Nick would be able to find it again. He hoped the detective could find the strength to make it back to the land of the living. As he reached into his pocket for an antacid, Joe made a mental note to add one more prayer to his growing list. Detective Nicholas Knight was going to need all the help he could get.
End Chapter 19